Enlightenment, or: Contradiction, Unsettled

"Enlightenment, or: Contradiction, Unsettled"
by Amanda Kay Holstien, Sr.

Cheyenne, kombucha
& natural cigarettes;
acid & yoga:
am I enlightened yet?
Meditate when I'm angry
& smoke when I'm sad;
it's hard 2 b a woman
w/so many guys named Chad.

I found a razor in an ashtray
on the Upper East Side;
all my friends are snorting snow,
and I'm trying
to keep
my stride.

Still though,
I know
not necessarily
does every
truth
have a rhyme
or rhythm
or calming effect.

Life is form, unhinged:
I am a flower blossoming
after being
plucked.
Both flourishing
& degrading:
fasting,
but not to be thin.
Or maybe thinness second,
Enlightenment first;
thinness, a happy accident.

One foot in my body,
a twitch in my third eye,
let's roll another doobie,
& pray we get real high,
like the first time.

Still I try
to find
my intuition,
only
to find
life, a contradiction,
unsettled.

PoetryAmanda HolstienMarch 30, 2017Amanda Kay Holstien, Amanda Holstien, Poetry, New York City, Enlightenment

Everything is Waiting for You

"Everything is Waiting for You"
- David Whyte

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienJuly 19, 2016David Whyte, Everything is Waiting for You, Poetry, Wisdom, Enlightenment

Decisions

Don't worry so much.
Apart from decisions that depend on life or death, most other judgments we make are arbitrary to our existence.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienApril 6, 2016Worry, Decisions, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Experiences, Reflection

Feelings

Some feelings are residual: not based on a current reality, but rather a perception and interpretation of reality in response to past experiences.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienMarch 4, 2016Feelings, Reality, Reality Perception, Enlightenment, Reflection, Marfa, Fun House Marfa, Amanda HolstienComment

Reality

Your current perception of reality is not a necessary truth about the world. Other people might interpret the world in a different way, or even you might see the world differently in about 5 minutes.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienFebruary 17, 2016Reflection, Enlightenment, Reality, Perception, Fun House Marfa, Amanda Holstien

Extremes

There is no novelty without the mundane. Often, we want our lives to be mostly positive, but we have no notion of positive without a notion of negative. The exciting can only exist in opposition to the boring. Life encompasses all extremes: joy in relation to grief, and so on.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienFebruary 10, 2016Reflection, Enlightenment, Novelty, Munday, Positive, Negative, Extremes, Marfa, Fun House Marfa, Amanda HolstienComment

Disappointment

Disappointment is inevitable. Allow yourself time to feel sad and disappointed when things don't work out the way you planned. While allowing yourself to feel sad, also remember the sadness and disappointment are temporary. Things don't always work out the way you want, and that's okay. Disappointment is part of what it is to live, to be human, but the journey continues.

TipsAmanda HolstienJanuary 4, 2016Reflection, Tip, Enlightenment, Disappointment, Marfa, Fun House MArfa, Amanda Holstien, Image, Images Fun House Marfa, JourneyComment

Overcoming Hesitation

Often times, if you can get started, you're already halfway to your goal. Hesitation due to anxiety and fear of the unknown is a huge hinderance that is often based on inflated, inaccurate asumptions about "what's the worst that could happen." If you want to do something, try it! What's the worst that could happen?

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienJanuary 2, 2016Reflection, Journey, Fear, Enlightenment, Marfa, Fun House Marfa, Hesitation, Overcoming, Holstien, Amanda HolstienComment

Expectations

You get out of life what you put into it.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienDecember 29, 2015Reflection, Life, Expectations, Enlightenment, Photography, Images, Holstien, Amanda Holstien, Marfa, Texas, ArtComment

Significance

What does it mean?
It means whatever you want it to mean.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienDecember 22, 2015Signifiance, Meaning, Wavy, Enlightenment, Reflection, Marfa, Images, Amanda HolstienComment

Growth

Growth is gradual and rarely noticeable right away.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienDecember 21, 2015Reflection, Growth, Enlightenment, Marfa, Texas, Amanda Holstien, Image, PhotoComment

Reflect

I'm inclined to think the good things people say about me are more valid than the bad, but perhaps it's not so harmful to reflect.

ReflectionsAmanda HolstienDecember 16, 2015Self-Reflection, Self-Awareness, Reflection, Enlightenment, Amanda Holstien, Marfa, Marfa Art, ImagesComment

Change

Change is possible though typically quite difficult. Sometimes change requires you go through a drug addiction, jail or have someone close to you die. And even then, that won't be enough if you don't want the change for yourself.