Some feelings are residual: not based on a current reality, but rather a perception and interpretation of reality in response to past experiences.
There is no novelty without the mundane. Often, we want our lives to be mostly positive, but we have no notion of positive without a notion of negative. The exciting can only exist in opposition to the boring. Life encompasses all extremes: joy in relation to grief, and so on.
We don't just project our subconscious feelings onto other people; sometimes we even project onto inanimate objects. If you find yourself getting irritated by things like: elevators, the street lights, your pants, ad infinitum, perhaps that's a good indicator it's time for self-reflection. Perhaps you're angry or upset with something much deeper than the object or person.
Disappointment is inevitable. Allow yourself time to feel sad and disappointed when things don't work out the way you planned. While allowing yourself to feel sad, also remember the sadness and disappointment are temporary. Things don't always work out the way you want, and that's okay. Disappointment is part of what it is to live, to be human, but the journey continues.
Often times, if you can get started, you're already halfway to your goal. Hesitation due to anxiety and fear of the unknown is a huge hinderance that is often based on inflated, inaccurate asumptions about "what's the worst that could happen." If you want to do something, try it! What's the worst that could happen?
"What If" by Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pol?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!
You get out of life what you put into it.
It's the holidays; of course I'm sad.
When you’re a child, if you’ve had any luck in the world, the holidays are mostly good memories- lights, food, family, presents wrapped in fun paper topped with shiny bows. Appropriately, when you’re an adult, those good memories will make you sad: things have changed and so have you and so has everyone else.
It’s sad how things change. I’m not going to offer an inspiring message on how to suppress your feelings. I think it’s good to be sad and to let yourself feel sad. Perhaps the holidays can be a time to reflect, and with any luck, gain a deeper perspective.
Perspective and wisdom and real peace can only come from letting yourself feel the things you try to not let yourself feel.
During this time of year, it can be especially easy to just eat and eat (or drink) and let the invisible tension build while you try to drown it out with the flashing lights of the television and your electronic devices. That is certainly much easier and less messy than tears, than saying what you’re really feeling. Than opening up and being honest with the very people who will be with you for the rest of your life.
All I can offer you at this time of year is empathy. I know it’s hard, but perhaps it wouldn’t be a complete disaster if you let yourself really feel what you act like you’re not feeling. If you let yourself be honest with those who love you. If you let yourself be real. If you truly connected with your supposed loved ones. Maybe it would bring you all closer together.
Or maybe it will make you feel even more alone, but at least you’ll be alone with yourself. At least you’ll know what you’re really feeling. At least you’ll be aware and connected to yourself, rather than living in a tense, anxious repressed almost vegetative state.
I hope this reflection in helpful to you. Please remember that you’re not alone, and the holidays will be over soon.
Love and strength to you,
Amanda
What does it mean?
It means whatever you want it to mean.
Growth is gradual and rarely noticeable right away.
Most of what I take at face-value to be truth is likely just a projection, an interpretation of "Reality" clouded by my own set of experiences.
Sometimes the memories are better than the experience itself.
Sometimes the memories feel worse than the experience itself.
I'm inclined to think the good things people say about me are more valid than the bad, but perhaps it's not so harmful to reflect.
Change is possible though typically quite difficult. Sometimes change requires you go through a drug addiction, jail or have someone close to you die. And even then, that won't be enough if you don't want the change for yourself.
For the most part, we likes things because we identify with them. However, "I identify with" is not the same as "better."
Infinite interpretations of reality exist.
Journeying the path to enlightenment, you will encounter many brick walls.
If you don't believe it yourself, how do you expect others to believe you?
There are no clear answers for most of our personal dilemmas.
Just because someone isn't an asshole all the time, doesn't mean they weren't an asshole at the time.