A lot of people talking a lot of sh*t, so Psalm 36 is a good friend to us. Also, a sliver peak from my upcoming book, The Metaphysics of Good Vibrations. Enjoy!
xox
Amanda
htxoracle@gmail.com
www.patreon.com/ATSM
www.etsy.com/shop/HANAEL777
www.thriceinonce.com
Namaste, bitches! Welcome back to A Thousand Serious Moves with Amanda Holstien! On this week's episode I have a conversation with two of my oldest friends, Brad Gray and Jake Rawls. Brad and Jake are hosts of the Regular Dude Report podcast (subscribe on iTunes!). As kids, the three of us went to First Baptist Church Deer Park, TX together, and on this episode we talk about our past and current spiritual pursuits. And drink Four Roses.
I also give a brief reflection on the story of the birth of Jesus and the possibility of redemption. Enjoy!
"What If" by Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pol?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!
You get out of life what you put into it.
When you’re a child, if you’ve had any luck in the world, the holidays are mostly good memories- lights, food, family, presents wrapped in fun paper topped with shiny bows. Appropriately, when you’re an adult, those good memories will make you sad: things have changed and so have you and so has everyone else.
It’s sad how things change. I’m not going to offer an inspiring message on how to suppress your feelings. I think it’s good to be sad and to let yourself feel sad. Perhaps the holidays can be a time to reflect, and with any luck, gain a deeper perspective.
Perspective and wisdom and real peace can only come from letting yourself feel the things you try to not let yourself feel.
During this time of year, it can be especially easy to just eat and eat (or drink) and let the invisible tension build while you try to drown it out with the flashing lights of the television and your electronic devices. That is certainly much easier and less messy than tears, than saying what you’re really feeling. Than opening up and being honest with the very people who will be with you for the rest of your life.
All I can offer you at this time of year is empathy. I know it’s hard, but perhaps it wouldn’t be a complete disaster if you let yourself really feel what you act like you’re not feeling. If you let yourself be honest with those who love you. If you let yourself be real. If you truly connected with your supposed loved ones. Maybe it would bring you all closer together.
Or maybe it will make you feel even more alone, but at least you’ll be alone with yourself. At least you’ll know what you’re really feeling. At least you’ll be aware and connected to yourself, rather than living in a tense, anxious repressed almost vegetative state.
I hope this reflection in helpful to you. Please remember that you’re not alone, and the holidays will be over soon.
Love and strength to you,
Amanda
Growth is gradual and rarely noticeable right away.
Most of what I take at face-value to be truth is likely just a projection, an interpretation of "Reality" clouded by my own set of experiences.
Sometimes the memories are better than the experience itself.
Sometimes the memories feel worse than the experience itself.
Change is possible though typically quite difficult. Sometimes change requires you go through a drug addiction, jail or have someone close to you die. And even then, that won't be enough if you don't want the change for yourself.
Infinite interpretations of reality exist.
Journeying the path to enlightenment, you will encounter many brick walls.
If you don't believe it yourself, how do you expect others to believe you?
There are no clear answers for most of our personal dilemmas.
Just because someone isn't an asshole all the time, doesn't mean they weren't an asshole at the time.
It's possible and likely that a lot of the things you think you know, you really don't know.
It's mostly all in your head.
Second guess your second guess.
It's okay if you have nothing to say.
Wherever you go, you're bringing yourself with you.
It'll take work, but you can totally do it!
