Often times, we see in others a reflection of what we are most afraid of ourselves. Fear of failure-of never making it, fear of loss, fear of not being good enough, fear of the unknown. Being aware of these fears is the first step to moving beyond them, to being resilient, to keep trying & striving for self-improvement, serenity. 

As often as I can, in the morning, before I reach for my phone, I pray for wisdom, courage, joy, serenity & love. Before fear, projections, & the noise of the day has time to creep in, I choose to be aware. 

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How long have you lived here?
How long have you been afraid?
How long have you been angry?
How long have you not know what you are feeling?
How long have you been codependent?
Do you know what that means?
Are you self-aware?
Do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Do you want a cigarette
or does someone else
and you are mistaking their thoughts and feelings as your own?

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"The first draft is perfect," says the lazy man afraid to confront his imperfections. Afraid of feelings. Afraid of shattering his ego, thus gaining wisdom.

More of the same! More of the same!

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Women are objects, haven't you heard? It's why men and women can never be friends - because they want to fuck us, and we just want them to listen.

Men are the other, haven't you heard? 

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You are not your thoughts.
At least that's what the meditation app tells me.

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What's the worse that could happen?
And then what?

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"Everything is Waiting for You"
- David Whyte

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you

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Don't worry so much.
Apart from decisions that depend on life or death, most other judgments we make are arbitrary to our existence.

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Some feelings are residual: not based on a current reality, but rather a perception and interpretation of reality in response to past experiences.

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Values fluctuate. Just as your values have changed over time, so do the values of others. Accordingly, not everyone will value the same things as you, just as you no longer value certain things you used to value.

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Your current perception of reality is not a necessary truth about the world. Other people might interpret the world in a different way, or even you might see the world differently in about 5 minutes.

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There is no novelty without the mundane. Often, we want our lives to be mostly positive, but we have no notion of positive without a notion of negative. The exciting can only exist in opposition to the boring. Life encompasses all extremes: joy in relation to grief, and so on.

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Often times, if you can get started, you're already halfway to your goal. Hesitation due to anxiety and fear of the unknown is a huge hinderance that is often based on inflated, inaccurate asumptions about "what's the worst that could happen." If you want to do something, try it! What's the worst that could happen?

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You get out of life what you put into it.

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What does it mean?
It means whatever you want it to mean. 

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Growth is gradual and rarely noticeable right away. 

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Most of what I take at face-value to be truth is likely just a projection, an interpretation of "Reality" clouded by my own set of experiences. 

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Sometimes the memories are better than the experience itself. 
Sometimes the memories feel worse than the experience itself.

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I'm inclined to think the good things people say about me are more valid than the bad, but perhaps it's not so harmful to reflect.

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Change is possible though typically quite difficult. Sometimes change requires you go through a drug addiction, jail or have someone close to you die. And even then, that won't be enough if you don't want the change for yourself.