by: Amanda Holstien
in Marfa, TX

“The Mandrakes Give off a Fragrance”

For Leah to give away
a night with Jacob;

The mandrakes give off a fragrance
to produce hallucinations,
hallelujah,
a secret, poetic elixir,
which is why they call it occult.
How the Song of Solomon is
an alchemical text,
the plants and perfumes
speaking their language
to activate with lemon and verbena.
One time I drank this
substance
to forfeit the mind
and induce seduction,
for it is no longer I who live,
but Christ who dwells in me.

Time, Surrender & the Divine

I’ve had more than a few experiences of time - in fact, it seems like I’ve had infinite experiences with time - many times on a daily basis.

I recently heard that our relationship with time is related to our relationship with the Divine - yes, that Divine. This also makes sense because Saturn, the Lord of Time, is the final planet we encounter on our journey back home to Pleroma, or what some might call Source. I prefer to say God.

I’ve also heard that our relationship with time is related to our relationship with prosperity and abundance - feeling like we don’t have enough time. Is it just a matter of prioritization?

G-DAmanda HolstienNovember 13, 2022Time, Marfa, Marfa TX, Mysticism, Saturn

Our Blessed Mother

From a Christian mystic perspective, wherein we are ALL children of the Most High, what are the implications of Our relationship with Our Mother? The awakening of Awareness to our Christ nature (accepting "Christ” into our hearts) reveals Our True Divine Nature. After all, the cross is the intersection of the four elements meeting together in the Heart to reveal five, that is - our QUINT-essential Nature: We Are Divine.

The Love of G-D (That I Am)

My love for You is 3-fold
5-fold
7-fold
7 times 70-fold
144,000-fold.

G-D, PoetryAmanda HolstienOctober 11, 2022Building 98Poetry, Marfa Texas, Amanda HolstienComment

Understanding G-D

This morning while drinking my coffee in the castle where I live, the sunlight arose over the eastern mountains and poured itself everywhere. I had a thought.

“What is your understanding of God today?”

Conversations with AngelsAmanda HolstienOctober 6, 2022Conversations with Angels, Sunrise, Marfa Texas, Building 98Comment

Week 1, Day 9: I am Enough

For those of you who listen to my podcast, A Thousand Serious Moves, you probably already know that my dog and good friend Tupes passed away last Saturday. It has been a rough week in more than one way, and I have been trying my hardest to take it easy. Of course I understand the irony of that statement: trying my hardest to take it easy.

AddictionAmanda HolstienSeptember 17, 2022Mary Annael & Co.Spiritual Growth, Self Acceptance, Marfa Texas, Marfa SpiritualityComment

Quitting Cigarettes (Again)

I’ve never considered myself a “smoker” even though I’ve been smoking casually since I was 18. At first it started out as an oral fixation to keep me from eating when I had an eating disorder. Then, smoking became something to do when I went out drinking. Or if I’d travel to Europe, it only seemed culterally respectful to smoke. And when I did standup comedy, I didn’t want to sit through an entire open mic, and smoking with other comedians outside was a way of networking. Then, when I got clean, nicotine seemed like the only thing I could have, but when I’d smoke cigarettes, it’s like what I really wanted was to get high.

AddictionAmanda HolstienSeptember 8, 2022Mary Annael & Co.Recovery, Quitting Nicotine, Marfa Texas, 12 StepsComment

Communing with Nature - Harietta

Spiders can give great early warning signs, and though I did not see her on this particular afternoon, I do know there is a tarantula who lives in a hole outside the door to my Holy Guardian Angel’s altar. David Sleeper calls her Harrietta.

NatureAmanda HolstienAugust 27, 2022Mary Annael & Co.Building 98, Marfa, Marfa Texas, Nature, Communing with Nature, TarantulasComment